Rhona Baretta Blues Privates Investigator: " The Case of the Missing Guitar Player " on Blues Mystery Theater
BLUES-2-DON'TS
THE BLUES BLOG FOR
THE BIPOLAR TYPE II
BLUES-A-HOLIC
01-27-06
TheAurora Village People's Blues Court:
Evidence CD COVERS (photo above)
David Brewer X-hibit A+
Dean Reichert X-hibit C -
THE AURORA VILLAGE PEOPLE'S BLUES COURT:
THE CASE OF THE SHOT OF CHEVAS REGAL,
MOTEL KEYS, HAND GUN VS. THE SHOT OF NOVACAINE,
SHE CAN’T FIND HER KEYS, AND HE
DOESN’T HAVE A GUN?
Complainant: MR. DAVID BREWER
Of BOB’S BIG BOY BLUES BAIL BONDS
LOANS, GUNS, FLOWERS, SMOKE SHOP,
WORLD RENOWED BLUES ARTIST,
BOXER, COW PUNCHER,
AND BALLET DANCER.
Against
OFFEND ant : DEAN REICHART
Tacoma’s Kenny G String OF THE BLUES
PHOTO COPY TECHNICIAN
BLUES JAMMER
Hey BLUES-2-DON’TS
If you want something to rant about on your blog (which
I dig the most...) look up
A dude from Tacoma named DEAN REICHERT
He has a CD titled
Mistey's Place. The cover is a total rip off my Bad
Habits CD cover, can’t these
F...ING! rookies think up there own shit, there are a
Few things missing on his
Cover, the chick has no motel room key in her
hand, (NITES INN) there ain’t no
Whiskey on the bar, and he ain't got no gun! He has
called me crying about THAT he didn’t realize that our
Covers where exactly, or almost exactly the same but
I call bullshit...I would like to….his... out!
The nerve racking son of a bitch, the
Gob of spit, the scum sucking pig!
I plan to change The cover of my cd, he can
Have that idea even if it ain’t his, I give it to him, I
Just hope he don't mistake
Kindness for weakness, cause as you know I do not play
That s…., m………..r!.
Anyhow have a nice day!
And oblige...Brewer................
DEAR MR BREWER,
DON’T GET YOUR CHAINSAW ALL CHOKED UP YET
It will cost you at least twenty dollars to drive to Tacoma
I WILL DISPATCH THIS POST TO THE
HONORABLE JUDGE MENTAL
OF THE AURORA VILLAGE PEOPLE’S COURT
IN ADDITION, THIS MATTER WILL BE DEALT WITH!
AND SOME ONE WILL BE TAKING OUT SOME INSURANCE
FROM MUTUAL OF ENUMCLAW.
RHONA BAR-ETT-A- JAMES BPI
BLUES PRIVATES INVESTIGATOR
Next Day at Court
We the court find the Offend ant has some Bad Habits
That led to the similarities between the cover that are most egregious.
We recommend that he enroll in BLUES BOOT CAMP and
that he gets A Kinko’s Copy Machine Restraining Odor.
Bailiff break his G-string !
THE MYSTERY CONTINUES NEXT WEEK
ON AURORA VILLAGE PEOPLE'S BLUES COURT
YOU BE THE JUDGE!
posted by Bunny'N'Chair at 11:34 PM
7 Comments:
Looks like some body may need my services.
DR. CRAMM DDS
Damn, fella, you are getting super-sophisticated on us!
One thing - you need to let your loyal blues-a-holics know where to get bad boy Brewer's new CD. Can we buy it online? Is the elusive hunk ever gonna play a gig we can buy it at??????????
Hey Bill,
How'sit goin you know I do my own dentistry so if you
want to save some money
I can bring my tools(vice grips,ect.)over and help you
out!!The Blues Dentist,
pain? oh don't be so squemish!!! any how add this rant
to your blogington...........
I don't get it! I guess people just like to burn
me,here are just a few examples ..like in1989,90 when
the late
great Long John Baldery decided to do my song "You
Wanna Dance".needless
to say I was more than happy to have him do it! At the
time I had just finished my
Bad Habits record at Tom Lavin's Bluewave studio in
Vancover,B.C.LJB was lookin
for tunes for his new cd ("Still Ain't Easy")so tom
turned him on to my cd, he dug it
and decided to cut " You Wanna Dance", since tom had
turned LJB on to it I agreed
to split my publishing 50/50 with him ,fair
enuff..Then the recored co.(Stony Plain)
took it upon them selfes to put it out,"licenceing
agreement !why take the time to
have you involved we'll just sign your name to
it"(BURN)..LJB wanted Colin James
to do the guitar work on the song so he gives him my
cd the next thing you know
Colin James puts out a new cd and wins a JUNO for it
,what's the title cut ,in fact
what does he title it, oh yea.Bad Habits..I guess
Lavin feels he is my publisher now
cause(with out asking he list him self as
publisher/with warner bros.canada)
(BURN)big brew ha ha between me and warner bros.they
still don't like me!!oh well..
Move to1995 my next cd ("All Tore Down") it's out ,I
get the cover of the P.I what's
happining(the only local musician to do that)my first
tour of Europe is booked,I was
booked to open for Greg Allman,in blaine wa.it didint
happin for what ever reason
but Allman was givin a copy of my cd on which I had
covered his toon whippin post
one and a half years later Greg comes out with a new
cd the name of which,escapes
me at the moment but dose he do my arangement of
whippin post listen and then you
decide!(BURN)2005 well lets see?oh yea that Dean whats
his name puts out his cd
("Misty's Place") and duplecates my 1990 "Bad
Habits"cover to the tee,(BURN) in
the summer of 2005 I bring my friend Mike Kalanj down
from Vancover,B.C. to play
B-3 on my new cd ("Absolutley")he plays with tom
lavin,jim burns,chris issac,and he
is buddy's with Colin James,he takes some band tracks
home with him ....Now if any
one has heard me play live they know that one of the
strange tunes i've been doing
on stage since the early 80's is Van Morison's "In To
The Mystic". My fans (a small
but mighty group)have been after me for along time to
record it .So I decide to inclued
it on my new cd.now I find out that Colin James after
hearing my band track coverd
Into The Mystic on his 2006 cd "Limelight"(BURN)I mean
come on,no dought with
the distrobution net work he has,he'll be hailed as an
inovator for his choice of material!!!!!!!!!!
but in the words of an old blues tune"What can a poor
boy do?Sew patches on his
clothes,an stuff newspaper all up in his shoe!!!! Or
as John Huston said to Humphry
Bogart in The Treasure of the Serria Madra,Here's two
paseo's but in the futher you'll
have to make your way througt life with out my
assistance!!!!
and oblige..Brewer......... Hey Bill,
How'sit goin you know I do my own dentistry so if you
want to save some money
I can bring my tools(vice grips,ect.)over and help you
out!!The Blues Dentist,
pain? oh don't be so squemish!!! any how add this rant
to your blogington...........
I don't get it! I guess people just like to burn
me,here are just a few examples ..like in1989,90 when
the late
great Long John Baldery decided to do my song "You
Wanna Dance".needless
to say I was more than happy to have him do it! At the
time I had just finished my
Bad Habits record at Tom Lavin's Bluewave studio in
Vancover,B.C.LJB was lookin
for tunes for his new cd ("Still Ain't Easy")so tom
turned him on to my cd, he dug it
and decided to cut " You Wanna Dance", since tom had
turned LJB on to it I agreed
to split my publishing 50/50 with him ,fair
enuff..Then the recored co.(Stony Plain)
took it upon them selfes to put it out,"licenceing
agreement !why take the time to
have you involved we'll just sign your name to
it"(BURN)..LJB wanted Colin James
to do the guitar work on the song so he gives him my
cd the next thing you know
Colin James puts out a new cd and wins a JUNO for it
,what's the title cut ,in fact
what does he title it, oh yea.Bad Habits..I guess
Lavin feels he is my publisher now
cause(with out asking he list him self as
publisher/with warner bros.canada)
(BURN)big brew ha ha between me and warner bros.they
still don't like me!!oh well..
Move to1995 my next cd ("All Tore Down") it's out ,I
get the cover of the P.I what's
happining(the only local musician to do that)my first
tour of Europe is booked,I was
booked to open for Greg Allman,in blaine wa.it didint
happin for what ever reason
but Allman was givin a copy of my cd on which I had
covered his toon whippin post
one and a half years later Greg comes out with a new
cd the name of which,escapes
me at the moment but dose he do my arangement of
whippin post listen and then you
decide!(BURN)2005 well lets see?oh yea that Dean whats
his name puts out his cd
("Misty's Place") and duplecates my 1990 "Bad
Habits"cover to the tee,(BURN) in
the summer of 2005 I bring my friend Mike Kalanj down
from Vancover,B.C. to play
B-3 on my new cd ("Absolutley")he plays with tom
lavin,jim burns,chris issac,and he
is buddy's with Colin James,he takes some band tracks
home with him ....Now if any
one has heard me play live they know that one of the
strange tunes i've been doing
on stage since the early 80's is Van Morison's "In To
The Mystic". My fans (a small
but mighty group)have been after me for along time to
record it .So I decide to inclued
it on my new cd.now I find out that Colin James after
hearing my band track coverd
Into The Mystic on his 2006 cd "Limelight"(BURN)I mean
come on,no dought with
the distrobution net work he has,he'll be hailed as an
inovator for his choice of material!!!!!!!!!!
but in the words of an old blues tune"What can a poor
boy do?Sew patches on his
clothes,an stuff newspaper all up in his shoe!!!! Or
as John Huston said to Humphry
Bogart in The Treasure of the Serria Madra,Here's two
paseo's but in the futher you'll
have to make your way througt life with out my
assistance!!!!
and oblige..Brewer.........
Holy crow in winter - damn thievin' Canucks! Shoot 'em all!
Seriously, though, I wish I'd known that sooner - I would have told Colin he had some 'splainin' to do!
Signed
Dis-jointed Misty Blue (etc.)
A.....there Misty Blue
Perhaps we sould send out
DudLey Blues Right to save Day
and Nell of course! How
do you get a hold of the
Royal Crown Candian Club Mounted
Blues Police AnyWay ?
Snidley Blues Lash
IRON WILMA( BUT PLEASE JUST CALL ME BILL I CAN"T HELP IT THAT MY PARROTS GAVE THAT NAME)
The Blues Electric Chair:
BASSMAN WALKING THE BLUE MILE!
New Developments
Phone Rings))))))))))))
"Hello this is IRON WILMA
and no Bill is not here
he just dined and dashed
his sweet little ASS out
of here a few minutes ago after
reading a email from
Brewer. Had a worried look
on his face said he wouln't be back! Such a Dear sweet LITTLE
Bill. And to think I was Just washing his Panties
But I'll Read YOU this E-mail:
Sent : Sunday, January 29, 2006 12:43 PM
To : freckletune@msn.com
Subject : execution date!
| | | Inbox
Hey Bill,
Guess what I found,I typed my name into yahoos web
last nite and as I'm scroling
down checkin myself out ,and wow David Brewer's
execution date set for such &
such a date,in fact i think they gased me
already...you should check it out!!!!!
you might want to check your self out you might be on
death row also!!!
and oblige...Brewer...."
"Off with their heads", said the Red Queen (hahahaha)!
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