A VERY GRIM BLUE FAIRY TALE

The Adventure of The
Big Bad Howl'n Wolf
& the 3 Little Club Owners








Blues-2-Don'ts
Volume XV
Seattle's Only Blues E-Rag For
The Ever Vigilant &
Paranoid Blues-A-Holic


AS TOLD BY "THE BLUES SOCIETY'S CHILD"
The Great Danish Blues Story Teller and Flautist
Ms. NOT SO CHRISTIAN JANIS IAN ANDERSON

Once upon a time, there were Three Little Piggies
SCARY LARRY, CHA CHA CHARLIE, & GREASY LIL' JUAN,
Who were nightclub owners in THE OLDE HISTORIC
"PIE-IS-ALWAYS-NEAR SQUARE" in the
INFAMOUS BLACKLIGHT DISTRICT of BLUES-VILLE.

LIL' JUAN was talking to Larry & Charlie:
“AY CA RUMBA! I’m Tired of that Saxophone Player
BIG BAD HOWL"N WOLF. He is always showing up at our CLUBS,
playing with all the Bands, raising havoc and we never make any MONEY!
It's just a bad case of uno, dos, 1,2,3, quatro WOOLY BULLY!"

CHA CHA CHARLIE puts his two cents worth in:
“He ah aah always ba ba brings in ah ah a big ka ka crowd
tha that da da doesn't tip, smoke,da da drink ann an and
da da don't da da dance."

SNORTELING & CHORTELING SCARY LARRY SPEAKS:
"Yeah dat lo-life NIGHT LIFE musician always says
the same damn thing up on stage “I’LL HUFF & I'LL
PUFF AND I'LL BLOW THE HOUSE DOWN!"
Well he's GOING DOWN, down, down, down, down to the
Ground! So here is da scoop boys and pay attention!
I'VE got some friends that will put a cork in DA WOLF &
HIS PACK of SHE-WOLVES! The Last THING he will ever play is
GOOD BYE PORK PIE HAT! All I have to do is
phone dem Guys when he shows up at
THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE ON 12TH AVE.NIGHT CLUB.
Then we can turn da BLUES & JAZZ CLUBS INTO
REGGAE, TRIP-HOP & SALSA Clubs, Then we can make
a real KILLING FLOOR off dem punk kids
maxing out their credits cards and milking their BAD HABITS.

LATER, ON THAT COLD & WINDY, FOG SHROUDED NIGHT:
THE FULL BLUE MOON CAST its GHOSTLY SILVER HUE
LIKE A FOLSOM PRISON FLOOD-LIGHT, HIGH-LIGHTING
THE MARQUEE OF SCARY LARRY'S NIGHT CLUB:
A huge line of blues fans was forming at the DOOR of the CLUB.
"SOLO" the THREE FISTED DOORMAN was checking ID'S, COLLECTING COVER,
IN ADDITION, CLOCKING any one who complained about the cover.
INSIDE THE CLUB UP IN THE LOFT: THE THREE LITTLE CLUB OWNERS (WITH
LARRY NERVOUSLY CLUCHING HIS CELL PHONE) WERE SCANING THE SECURITY
CAMERAS WAITING FOR THE WOLF TO MAKE HIS ENTRANCE!
DOWNSTAIRS: BETH WOLF & HER WOLFTONES WERE PLAYING A FUNKY
VERISON OF BACON FAT, WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN THE BIG BAD WOLF
MADE HIS APPERANCE INSIDE ON THE CLUB'S DANCE-FLOOR.
ALL DRESSED UP TO GET MESSED UP,WEARING A SHEEP-SKIN ZOOT SUIT,
HOLDING A BARITONE SAX WITH ONE HAND AND HIS OTHER ARM WRAPPED
AROUND HIS SATIN DOLL: "THE DEVIL WITH A BLUE DRESS ON"
DA WOLF JUMPED ONTO THE STAGE!
OLDE WOLF BROKE OUT HIS BARITONE SAX AND SAID:
"I"LL HUFF AND I'LL PUFF AND I'LL BLOW DIS HOUSE DOWN!
WITH MY VERSION OF HONKY TONK"
UPSTAIRS: LARRY QUICKLY DIALED HIS EVIL FRIENDS
AND SAID, "DA WOLF IS DA HOUSE" WITH AN EVIL GLEAM IN HIS
STEELY COLD EYES AS HE WATCHED THE ACTION DELVELOP DOWN
BELOW.

BY THE TIME, THE WOLF GOT TO HIS FIRST SOLO:
A LONG BLACK CADDILAC PULLED UP TO THE
CLUB. THREE SHADOWY LITTLE FIGURES EMERGED FROM THE
CADDY WITH VIOLIN CASES IN HAND PUSHING THE DOORMAN "SOLO" ASIDE.
THEY RUSHED INTO CLUB! ONCE INSIDE QUICKER THAN THE HUMAN EYE
COULD SEE. ON THE DANCE FLOORTHEY PULLED OPEN THEIR CASES AND
WHIPPED OUT THEIR TOMMY GUNS. WITH OUT A SINGLE WARNING
THEY STARTED SHOOTING DOWN THE BIG BAD HOWL'N WOLF!
LYING IN A POOL OF BLOOD THE POOR OLD WOLF GASPED FOR HIS FINAL BREATHE.
THE EVIL LITTLE HIT MEN LEFT THE CLUB AND DISAPEARED INTO THE FOG WHILE SINGING:
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,BOOM, GOING SHOOT YOU RIGHT DOWN!

MEANWHILE UPSTAIRS IN THE LOFT,THE THREE LITTLE PIGS;
SCARY LARRY, GREASY LITTLE JUAN & CHA CHARLIE WERE ESTATIC!
CHARLIE ASKS LARRY “WHOO WHO WA WA WERE THOSE GA GA GA GUYS?”
WITH A HEART OF STONE LARRY SNORTED AS HE HELD UP A
SHOT OF TEQUILLA, "THOSE GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS FROM ITALY,
THE GUINEA PIGS AND THE DARK END OF THE STREET."
WHILE THE MOON CAST ITS GHOSTLY LIGHT YOU COULD HEAR A FAR OFF
HOWLING AND WHAT SOULDED LIKE A SAXOPHONE PLAYING "THE LAST DATE"
YES the reign of Evil continued in Blues-ville for the next Millennium.
But the story does continue next time.........

@AUGUST2005 BLUES-2-DONTS

DR. FRECKLE AND MISTER HIDE-AWAY