Blues Boot Camp Paris Hilton Head Island
Blues-2-Donts
VOLUME VIII
THE SEMI-E-REVERENT BLUES E-RAG
FOR THE DISCRIMINATING
AND ANNOYING BLUES-A-HOLIC
BLUES BOOT CAMP 2006
SPECIAL TOP SECRET CLASSIFIED
BLUES OPSEC DE-BREIFING
COMING TO YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD SOON
Featuring:
THE BLUES DRILL - INSTRUCTOR
SERGEANT MAJOR 7-TH MARK WHITMAN
AKA “THE BLUES BAZOOKA”
SIGN UP NOW AND SERVE YOUR BARTENDER
No Wait, go to Hell and Serve Your-self!
LEARN FROM A SEASONED PROFESSIONAL BLUES MASTER!
These use-full & underhanded techniques are included in this course.
1. HOW TO FIELD STRIP A GUITAR
2. HOW TO FIELD STRIP A WAITRESS
3. HOW TO SETUP YOUR EQUIPMENT
BEFORE YOU HIT THE BAR!
4. HOW TO DISARM AND NEUTRALIZE STRAY
HARMONICA PLAYERS, LAME GUITAR PLAYERS,
LAZY BASS PLAYERS AND DIFFICULT DRUMMERS.
5. PROPER ETIQUETTE & PROTOCOL FOR ADDRESSING
AND FLEECING CLUB OWNERS, BOOKING AGENTS
AND GETTING RID OF DRUMMER’S GIRLFRIEND AFTER
HE DUMPS HER OFF AT BAND PRACTICE.
PLUS AN ADDED SPECIALBONUS FREE COURSE
WELL THIS MAYBE THE LAST TIME I DON’T KNOW
THAT THIS COURSE WILLBE OFFERED TODAY!
TEN USEFULL TIPS:
FOR DEALING WITH THE DEVIL,
MUSICIANS WIVES: “SORRY MISS, BUT IT IS NOT
MY FAULT THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS A CRACK HEAD
AND NO MADAME I DON’T KNOW WHY HE DIDN’T COME
HOME LAST NIGHT OR WHERE HE WENT!”
IN ADDITION HOW TO MANAGE YOUR FANBASE AND MORE!
Blues Boot Camp Summer 2006
is located on the scenic and beautiful
Paris Hilton Head Island S.C.
To sign up:
Send $100 Dollars cash to
PRIVATES 1ST CLASS WILLY FRECKLETON
plus a case of beer to( NO COD:
Blues Boot Camp Summer 2006
PO Box OU812 Concrete,Wa.
NOW GET DOWN GIMME 50
CHECK OUT THIS WEB SITE
NOW RECRUIT !!!
http://www.markwhitman.com/:
Mention this ad and the 1st 25 people
get a shot at the drummer's girlfriend!
FRECKLETUNE@MSN.COM
@july2005
posted by Bunny'N'Chair at 10:53 PM
12 Comments:
I saw that video of Paris Hilton giving head and it was positively deflating. And I don't even have a wang.
And who are you calling "The Devil"? I admit I have a penthouse suite waiting for me in hell, but I can't take credit for developing the property.
Oh, and here's how the joke really goes:
Q. What does a stripper do to her asshole before she goes to work?
A. She drops him off at band practice with his drums.
Mademoiselle Priebenhoffer!
Well don't worry,it is okay,
you can still let it all hang-out,
even if you don't have a Wang dang
doodle. Because you can still have the drummer Par-a-your-noodle or is
it par-a-your-diddle. Too bad about
your deflautent experience with Paris! May be you need to find a Nu-deRecTion in your life. Have you ever considered blowing a Harmonica?
I've never considered blowing a harmonica, but I've heard through the bluesvine that NV blows goats. Call me old-fashioned, but that doesn't sound like much fun...for him or the goats.
Frau Murnau,
I guess that this posting will get old NV'S Goat.I gonna have to report him to The SPCBM(society for the prevention of cruelty
to BLUES MUSICIANS.) I wonder if
those goats find his goatee attractive.
I'm gonna send a him copy "All Creature Great and Small" and have
him auto-graph it for me.
Thanks for the info.
DR.BLUE-LITTLE-BILL DVM
(DiVorced Musician.)
By the way it is time for your annual check up!! Please schedule an appointment with me by
calling my assistant MRS. WETMOORE .
I had my annual check-up last week, so no thanks. If I had another one so soon, it could hardly be called an "annual" check-up.
But here's a suggestion for you and your diploma mill credentials: How about getting the 411 on NV and the goats? I've heard the comments, I've read the comments, and I've certainly giggled at the comments, but no one seems to *really* know what they're about. Are they referring to real goats? Or metaphorical goats? Or maybe it started out as "ghosts" and got mutated passing down the bluesvine?
Please tell us, Dr. Freckle(ton)!!!
Frau Murna,
Are you KIDDING ME or are ewe trying to get my goat?
I know NV gets around and he is on the Lonesome Road a lot. Well so am I and Here I am posting ewe
They say the lonely road finds strange bedfellows.
May be he should play at LIVE STOCK!
BUTT, I did do some research for EWE Frauline;
So are here some basic facts of goat life.
Do not let your kids see this!
Buck: a male goat. Also referred to as a Billy.
In South Africa and other countries a buck may
also, be referred to as a ram.
Doe: a female goat. Also referred to as a nanny.
In South Africa and elsewhere, may be called a ewe
Kid: a baby goat of either sex
Mature bucks weigh 125 to 175 pounds
In addition, shear 12 - 20 pounds of hair every six months
Mature does weigh in at 80 to 100 pounds and
shear five to seven pounds of hair every six months.
Kids at weaning range from 50 to 60 pounds
and shear two plus pounds at shearing.
So maybe NV was taking about ghosts in his sleep
And his bass player RM thought he said Goats
And so re me fa so la ti DOE down the Line
By the time it reached your receptacle the
Rumors were spreading like legs in a police
Line up. In addition I sent NV the posting below:
And a form for him to download should things
Get complicated.
1932 149th Ave SE, Snohomish, WA 98290
ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION BREEDING MEMORANDUM
Name of Doe: ____________________________________________________________________________________
NPGA Registration # __________________ Tattoo/Chip # ________________________
Owner of Doe: ___________________________________________________________________________________
Address: ________________________________________________________________________________________
Name of Buck: ___________________________________________________________________________________
NPGA Registration # __________________ Tattoo/Chip # ________________________
Processor of Semen: ________________________________________ Date Processed: ______/_____/_____
Service Date: ____/____/____ Service #____________ Date of Last Service ____/____/____
Total # Straws Used: ________________
I hereby certify that I am duly authorized to issue this memorandum which is given as evidence of service rendered and also as
certification of date of service and identity of semen used for service of animal identified hereon. This semen was labeled in
accordance with NPGA recommendations.
INSEMINATOR’S SIGNATURE: ___________________________________________________________________
This Memorandum must be given to the owner of the doe at the time of service. This Memorandum must accompany the
Application for Registration of offspring produced by the above service. (No Fee)
I know an animal psychologist
DR. JOHN DOE who
specializes in this delicate topic.
Below : is what I sent NV
I hope this get your knickers in a twist!
N.V. http://www.blues-2-donts.blogspot.com
Do you care fill me in on your alleged goat activities.
We could get together and discuss this over a goat cheese pizza
and a pitcher of goat milk. I foward this to you so you can post a
blog in response to Frau Murna's postings.
I imagine she has been posted a few times!
I heard you did a killer version of Mohair Sam
Do these words illicit a response ANGORA, MOHAIR, PYGMY.
Thank You
Dr. BLu-littlebill DVM
Inquiring minds want to know the answers so please respond?
Frau MURNUA,
If that is even your real name!
I think there is a chance that
you really are the devil's daughter in my pocket. Probing me ,tempting me, whispering in my ear. This pre-occupation you have with goats and NV is my first clue.
This maybe the begining of the end!
I feel the Great Northwest Blues
Inquisitor "Ms. J.Z. Nitetime is the right time" is near. Also Known
as "Bluestha"the 20,000 year old
blues singer. She is a tenor and you can her spirit ten or eleven miles away. I must be going.
I haven't been whispering in your ear -- you must be hearing stray air from the blowing of goats.
By the way, your encyclopedic knowledge of caprines is frightening. Perhaps you operate a farm in Enumclaw to meet the, um, needs of local blues musicians? Or is it a ranch in Yelm?
I HERD YOUR REAL NAME
IS OPHELLIA SCROGGINGS
IS THAT TRUE? I REALLY
DIDN'T WANT TO BLOW YOUR
COVER. BUT YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY
TRYING TO UNCOVER MY TOPCOAT
MADAME PRIEBENHOFFER.
IF YOU THINK MY KNOWLEDGE OF
CAPRINES IS FRIGHTENING.
I HEARD THAT YOUR ARE A PART TIME TAXIDERMIST WORKING UNDER THE TABLE. (DO YOUR KNEES HURT)IN
ADDITION, YOU DRIVE AROUND WITH A TRUNK LOAD OF DEAD SQUIRRELS IN YOUR CAR SELLING THEM TO VARIOUS MUSICIANS AS NIFTY SWIFTERS.
(ALSO KNOWN AS BLUES BUDDY FLUFFERS)
Wow... I've never heard of squirrels (alive or dead) working as fluffers, but hey, whatever keeps the flag at full mast.
And if you're going to insult me, you could at least spell my name correctly: Ophelia Scroggins.
Madame Priebenhoffer,
Your familiarity with
The Sexual Arts is amazing!
Perhaps your are really the 80's
Russian Porn Star "BoTToM" KARI
TOPOFALOT or perhaps this is some cheap marketing ploy devised by
you KARI and NV to get a buzz
going about this new CD. I knew
NV can't afford AA BAtteries and
let us see? 80's porn star means you probally doing The Senior Center Circuit Now" Do You Accept
Food Stamps or give a AARP discount.
ah maybe you are really NV ?
This is why NV hasn't replied !
Hmmmm.... I don't seem to be juggling 17 girlfriends at the same time, so no, I couldn't possibly be NV.
I'm not Kari Topofalot either, but once upon a time I was known as Ida Fuchter.
Now I'm just sweet little Murnau. No AARP discounts, no CARP discounts, and definitely no HARP discounts.
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