Catch David Brewer & The Intimidators: He's back Saturday May 13th at the Salmon Bay Eagles in Ballard! Be There or Beware
"The Legend of The Intimidator"
Once upon a time at the end of
the second millinieum around
September 1999, at Travelers II Inn,
one of Seattle's last remaining
Indian Bars/Roadhouses, I had my first
gig with David Brewer.
David hired his long time drummer
K.t."Spiderman" Tuttle and myself
to play a weekly gig at this nepharious
Indian Bar on Aurora Blvd. At the time I
was playing bass with Dave Conant &
the D-Rangers and working as the Doorman
at the Tractor Tavern in Ballard.
A few days prior to my audition/gig, I was
working the door at the Tractor. Just before
closing time a lady friend of mine came in
to visit. She hung out while I closed the bar
and we started drinking whiskey. By 3 A.M.
we were intwined in the throws of lust on
the bar stool. I preceded to pick her up
and place her on one of the metal folding chairs
near the stage. I placed my left hand firmly under
the seat of the chair to squarely plant her 140lb.
frame and my 260lb frame on the center of the chair.
Just as I was ready to Cu....................CRashh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boom!!!!!!!!!Crunch the chair gave way to our thrusts,
and my left finger was pinched between the metal chair
and the floor and all 400Lbs of our drunken asses.
Standing up I noticed my left index finger was bleeding
profusly with a fleshy 2 inch gash to the bone along
the whole lenght of my finger. I went the E.R. and got
22 sitches and a metal finger guard put on my
injured appendage. I was lucky I didn't severe my
finger or any nerves.
With only one day left to my audition/gig with David Brewer
I couldn't cancel my gig as I really wanted to play with him
and my future with him questionable if I canceled.
The Next Day I show up at the bar my main fingering finger
wrapped up like a Burrito Grande. Brewer and K.T. both
looked at me kinda funny like are you okay, can you even play
and cut this gig?????
Well Brewer immediately launched into a fast breakneck
shuffle "Ball Of Twine". That evening I played the longest
one note bass lines, managing to keeping the groove alive
with my finger bleeding and the dressing
unravelled. I must have done alright cause David hired me
to come back the next night.
So began my career as an Intimidator.................
posted by Bunny'N'Chair at 6:59 AM
6 Comments:
Please tell me you at least covered the stool and chair in protective plastic before goin' at it like rabid hedgehogs. Otherwise I'm never sitting down in the Tractor again.
P.S. Inform the bikers I'll be joining them at the Eagles as the next stop on my May 2006 Carousing Frau Tour.
From : David Brewer
Sent : Sunday, May 7, 2006 5:52 PM
To : Blues-2-donts
Subject : Brewer said..
| | | Inbox
Brewer said,That's what I'm talking about, the real
blues
no crying or whimpering,fuck-it doc sew me up I got
blues
to play motherfucker!!!! That's my Bill, a universal
favorite,
an original member of the intimadators..
Fuck yeah! Ya fuckin' fucks.
That's TOO funny, Bill! My federal co-workers are all looking at me weird, wondering what's so funny that I'm laughing out loud at work - HAHA!
Have fun at Salmon Bay Eagles with your sadistic "slavemaster"!
Christ, as if Ballard didn't have enough to deal with...goddamn Norwiegen fishfucks and all...but, now the Intimidators are back in town, and who's leading the pack? Goddamned fudgejunkey horsepacker and tooljammer, Big Bill and his Bass saber from the Dark Side. It's about friggin time somebody decided to let a little class into the Tractor...maybe when it arrives it can escort Brewer and his Bloviators out. Whatever you do, don't let the goddamned fucks tune up- it only encourages them!
Buy stock in shrink-wrap now! If we were to disinfect all of the places the rabid rabbit has had public sex we’d be Lysoling until at least 2009. A more efficient measure, disinfect and shrink wrap Freck!
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